I CAN MOONWALK!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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