New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
