IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Slut skills are useful in every country.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
