You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
