my mouth tastes like poor choices
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
its not stalking. its research.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
