I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
