I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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