Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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