yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
