I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
