I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
