what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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