things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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