32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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