Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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