I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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