Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
