I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
