Welp...herpes.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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