We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
