two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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