i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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