Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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