i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
