Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
