He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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