you guys were way drunker than both of me
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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