Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
