he wants to bone in the snuggie
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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