brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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