Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
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