My room smells like vodka and shame
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
