youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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