you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
