I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
