So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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