i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
