I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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