Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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