just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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