The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
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just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
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