You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
