Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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