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the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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