So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
