He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
