i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
