Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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