Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
we should paint friendship bongs
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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