You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
