so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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